Gopher Hockey All Over

• Jeff Freeze left the Gopher Hockey team in a move that surprised no one.

• The Gophers grabbed recruits Aaron Nash (Minnesota Mr. Hockey) and Goalie Kent Patterson and some dude wrote about it.

• CryFoul's love/hate, train-wreck, somewhat abusive relationship with Inside College Hockey continues as they place Gopher forward Blake Wheeler on the 10 for '09 Hobey Baker list.

[Note: We didn't start the beef with Inside College Hockey, they did with their insistence on neutrality when covering Gopher Hockey. Fall in line!]

Dude likes playing for the Gophers. Kind of.

We're not the kind of website to pick on a dude who recently lost both his parents. And by that I mean we are the type of website to pick on a dude who recently lost both his parents. And in the name of fairness, Crying Foul wouldn't hesitate to pick on a lady in the same situation. After all, Title Nine was like 30 years ago. Apparently everything is wonderful in the land Gopher Football. In this roaring endorsement of Tim Brewster's recruiting ability, complete tool and linebacker Rex Sharpe Jr. explains that he came to the U because he couldn't go anywhere else. Here are the highlights:

"Out of high school, no bragging or patting myself on the back, but I was kind of like 'The Man.' I had offers from almost every SEC school."

[Here's video of what may or may not be Rex being "the man" for his Alabama high school. I have no idea if this is actually him or not, and I don't care either. But I do know this is as good as camera work gets in Alabama.]

But Sharpe didn't go to an SEC school. He went to Arizona Western. He is now transferring to the U and had this to say about it:

"Minnesota kind of like fell on me, and that's why I'm kind of proud."

Let's recap. Tim Brewster is taking on SEC rejects that clearly don't want to be here. Get your seasons tickets now!

Boof is Talented

Twins beat reporter Kelly Theiser is a professional writer, which means she makes her living writing. I'd go as far as to say she writes for several hours on any given day. So following the Twins 2-0 win over Kansas City on Sunday, this was her headline. Are you kidding? Unlike CryingFoul, doesn't MLB have some kind of editing process? Or does Kelly just work a little html and post directly to the site?

Some Afternoon Stuff

According to the U.S. Statistics Bureau, only 44 people outside the state of Kansas picked the Jayhawks to win the National Championship. One of them was your girlfriend who picked them based on the uniforms. The other 43 were kids who thought the KU mascot looked like Toucan Sam.

What else happened this weekend?

• The Twins took 2 of 3 from the Royals before dropping the first of three in Chicago this afternoon. Pat Neshek gave up a grand slam in the 7th to give A.J. and Ozzie the win.

• That sleuth Patrick Reusse finally figured out why fatherless African-Americans with "no food, no money and the electricity about to be cut off" don't get their stories told. (Spoiler: because they suck at basketball)

• Governor Tim Pawlenty repeatedly cited "misplaced priorities" when vetoing $208 million from the 2008 state bonding bill. And thank god too. While some were outraged by the cuts, WesternCollegeHockey came out of the shadows to bravely stand up for the governors approritaely placed priorities.

• Watching the Twins bat this season is like playing that game with my deaf cousin where I hide something and say "Warm. You're getting warmer. Hot! Wait! Turn around. Colder, colder!" For some reason he's really bad at that game.

Oh, and despite what my cat says, I had something in both my eyes during "One Shining Moment" after the basketball game, I never cry.

Because you hate work

I was too busy getting tickets for George Michael's 25Live (or as I call it - 25 sexy) yesterday to post. Pre-sale people. PRE-SALE! Here's a run down of yesterday's what-have-yous.

• The Twins dropped another one while starting pitcher Kevin Slowey left the game in the 4th with a strained bicep. I only study the ladies so I don't know much about the male body, but my roommate's sister went to community college for 3 months, and she says that the bicep is located in the arm. Now stay with me here, if the bicep is in the arm, and the arm is needed for throwing, and throwing is part of pitching, then I'd say this is not a good injury for a pitcher.

• David Beckham did this last night...

...then he did this last night

[I know, it's not Minnesota related, but CyringFoul does cover international soccer, so this is close enough -Ed.]

• The Wild made the playoffs and some people wrote about it. My favorite comment is when the one chick says "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then she says "all I have to say." Someone may want to inform her that if, in fact, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! was all she had to say, she would have just said !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Oh Snap! I nailed her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  

You may not know it from this site, but there is no bigger fan of Wild hockey than me from May 20th- June 10th in years they make it to the Stanley Cup Finals.

Twins 0 - Angels 1

Despite the loss, what we have pictured here is the Twins reacting to DH Craig Monroe's walk in the eighth after being behind 1-2. True Story. Looking over my notes from the game, I literally described the bottom of the 7th as - "Zzzzz Zzzzz". The other eight innings weren't much different. Not hitting is one thing, but inning after inning of "aggressive" at-bats in which no player is willing to take a pitch, well that's just painful to watch. The Twins did their best to keep the pitch count low for Saunders, who averaged 10 pitches per inning. (UPDATE: Aaron Gleeman agrees about the lack of plate discipline.)

Carlos Gomez will bring many things to this team, but patience at the plate is not one of them. I checked the stats, and over his carrier, Luis Castillo averaged 49.4 pitches per plate appearance (I know, I'm as surprised as you are) when hitting leadoff. As Bert likes to relentlessly point out, part of leadoff duty is seeing as many pitches as possible. Nobody likes to watch guys take strike 3 looking, but seriously, how about taking strike 2? or 1!

Dirty Sock - Nick Blackburn. He worked with great pace and threw strikes all night - two things Ron Gardenhire and I love.

Ron Gardenhire and I also love bowling and beer. And each other.

Wheeler Watch

With a disappointing 2007-2008 Gopher hockey season coming to an end this past weekend in Massachusetts (USCHO's delicately worded headline here), all eyes are now on junior forward Blake Wheeler (insane 2007 Final Five championship goal here). Expectations were high for the 1st round draft pick (Phoenix Coyotes, 5th overall) in an up and down season that saw his production (15 g, 20 a - 35pts) drop from last year (18 g, 20 a - 38pts). But Phoenix is likely not concerned. The 2007-2008 Gopher team was virtually unrecognizable when compared to the high-flying offensive juggernauts [ha.. jugs -ed] of the recent past - meaning Blake was a one-man show for long stretches this year.

According to Hockeysfuture.com, Blake Wheeler sits third on the Coyotes prospect chart behind current Wisconsin freshman Kyle Turris, F (11 g, 24 a - 35 pts) and former Michigan goal-tender Al Montoya. The Phoenix Coyotes are currently tied with Columbus (I didn't know they had a team either) for the 3rd worst record in the Western Conference. What's worse for fans of Blake Wheeler is that only four teams in the NHL scored less goals than the Coyotes this year. As much as I'd love to see #17 in maroon and gold come September, it doesn't look good. Reasons he might stay? Well there's this...

NOTE: If I was Blake Wheeler, I'd wait until the night of the upcoming Frozen Four final in Denver. Then I'd hold a huge press conference outside the stadium just before the opening face-off to announce that I still haven't made up my mind. Then I'd laugh and say "I got you good fuckers!" Then I'd ask everyone if they'd seen Super Troopers and if they knew what joke I was referring. If not, I'd slowly and painfully explain it to them while laughing manically. I'm positive they'd shower me with love and money.

(Photos from NHL/AP, Poon Ten)

Because You Hate Work

• Joshua Taylor Previews the Twins Minor League Affiliates. If you recognize three names that aren't Denard Span, Jason Pridie, Glenn Perkins, Alexi Casilla, or Garret Jones, you're lying. Or you're just cooler than me, which is nearly impossible. (mntwinstalk)

• Aaron Gleeman Makes the case for Jason Kubel. And by case, I mean the intensely crafted airtight legal variety. Warning: post involves math. (Aaron Gleeman)

• Twins pitcher Pat Neshek posted his first entry of the 2008 season after Tennessee busted his bracket. (On the Road Pat Neshek)

Twins 1 - Angels 9

13 pitches and the wheels looked ready to come off. Boof Bonser (0-1, 4.50 e.r.a.) obviously forget that pitches thrown after 7:07p.m. count. Back-to-back r.b.i. doubles in the 1st off balls left over the heart of the plate were all the Angels would need for their first win of the season.

For Twins fans, the loss was not complicated - Garland was great (7 i.p., 5 hits, 1 walk). But the Twins did their best to assure an Angels win as well. Adam Everett's fielding error in the 5th inning was one more than I was hoping to see all season if the young pitching staff is to have success.


Dirty Sock - Everyone in the Metrodome who made it through the 8th and 9th inning alive.

Projected 2008 record: 161-1

(Photo from VivaRivas)

Delmon Young is Boring Now

I'm not saying I want this version of Delmon Young


but anything has to be better than this ESPN Radio Baseball Today podcast featuring Twins left fielder Delmon Young in quite possibly the most boring interview in history. It starts around the 9:30 minute mark with a bit of Twins talk (Bill Smith bashing) after the snoozerview is over.

Peter Pascarelli: "Do you set goals before the season? Do you look at your numbers and say I can do better here and here?"
Delmon Young: "The only number I look to improve is in the win column."

I could have done this interview with a sock puppet and saved ESPN the trouble. We've all made mistakes in our past [Actually, I haven't. Ever. -Editor] that haunt us, but when I heard there was an interview with Delmon Young, I was hoping for something more like "Kirby fucking who? Somebody better start blowin' up a picture of me for that tarp up in right next to the fat fishing guy."

A Match Made in Heaven

(Not pictured: Dignity)

I'm sure you've already seen this, but today's MLB.com Fantasy Home Page has Twins center fielder Carlos Gomez front and center. After last night's breakout debut, Gomez fever has struck unemployed and teenage males the nation over! According to MLB.com's Fantasy 411 Update!:

"He's an intriguing and wildly talented player, and merits consideration in most formats for teams in need of speed."

Hey fantasy players, you know what else is wild and intriguing? Women. And the outdoors.


UPDATE: I found this formula on MLB.com this morning:

• Hitters:(R x 5) + (H x 4) + (HR x 15) + (RBI x 5) + (SB x 15) - AB
• Pitchers: (W x 30) + (SV x 25) + (IP x 5) + (SO x 4) - (H x 3) - (ER x 4) - (BB x 3)

If this formula looks familiar, then congratulations, you live with your parents.